Beastly – The Movie
I don’t know if I mention this enough on my blog (lol)… but I love adaptations or retellings. Particularly remixed fairytales.
So it stood to reason that I really would really like Alex Flinn’s Beastly. It’s fresh, it’s got a great voice, and the characters all seem like real everyday teenagers and regular problems, despite the outrageously impossible scenario. So when I heard “movie”, I thought YAY!”.
Then came the news that Mary-Kate Olsen and Vanessa Hudgens were in the movie. Now I know that both of these actors have a HUGE fan following… but seriously? SERIOUSLY?
Okay, fine, it’s a teen movie. I get it. Having big name stars and eye candy is essential. I mean I would’ve gone to see the movie just to get some nice me-time with a large screen version of Alex Pettyfer. So what if Vanessa’s doe-eyed, unbrushed bangs look is far from the plain, freckled, redheaded Lindy? Or that Kendra is supposed kind of awful-looking but sweet (and not emo, Amy Winehouse-do, eyeliner chick)? I can adjust.
The story of Beauty and the Beast, to me, has always been more about the Beast. Here’s a guy in genuine anguish because everything he’s ever relied on in his life (ie his good looks) have been taken away from him (ie he turns butt ugly).
I had mixed feelings about the Disney adaptation of the Beast, because that just looks like a slightly overweight werewolf. They were on the right track, but it was not quite what I had in mind.
So I was like, hey, lots of crazy modern technology now! Can’t wait to see what they make of the Beast in thi-
Oh, that’s a funny picture. Who is that?
Uh… no… that’s not the Beast. Don’t be silly.
… is it?
In the words of the book, and I quote:
“I was an animal—not quite wolf or bear or gorilla or dog, but some horrible species that walked upright, that was almost human, yet not. Fangs grew from my mouth, my fingers were clawed, and hair grew from every pore. I, who’d looked down on people with zits or halitosis, was a monster.”
Now let’s go back to that picture, shall we?
WTF! Where are the hairy pores??? The evil, hateful glare??? The face that would make any normal girl scream and swoon and run, run as fast she can??? Beast is supposed to be a big, hairy monster! Beast is not supposed to look like teenage Moby with an acne problem! WTFWTFWTF!
So far, then, this is a total fail. I’m actually really upset by movie adaptations lately… in the last year alone, three of my favorite books have been made into absolutely awful movies, and now this… I’m just hoping the movie itself will be somewhat fun to watch. At the very least.
Please, oh please, let The Time Traveler’s Wife restore my faith in humanity. *crosses fingers*